Parenting Role Reversals

We're living longer than ever, and that's a good thing. Improvements in medical care and increases in the average lifespan means that you'll have the opportunity to do more, to try more things, to have more experiences. It means you'll get to enjoy the world around you for longer.

But there are some caveats.

Because everyone is living longer, there's a chance you will find yourself in the role as caregiver to one or both of your parents.

This can be a mixed blessing. It gives you a chance to renew and strengthen your relationship with your parents. On the other hand, it's a difficult role. You become like the parent instead of the child, and that takes some adjustment. You also may become responsible for running the logistics of your parent's household—the finances, the grocery shopping, repairs, insurance policies… the list goes on.

Being a caregiver is hard and emotional work. It's important to be prepared. If your parents are in good health, then it's a good time to discuss their wishes should they become sick. Do they want in-home care or would they prefer to live in a community environment? What role do you want to play and what role are they hoping you'll play?

It's also important to talk over insurance policies with them. You might want to ask if they have long-term care insurance. Long-term care is one of the most expensive kinds of care and it can quickly bleed your parents' finances. Long-term care can be a real lifesaver, so having insurance for it is a good idea.

If you find yourself in the role of caregiver, it's very important that you enlist the support you need. Caregivers are at a higher risk of stress and stress-related conditions. Stress also contributes to weight gain, sleep problems, and heart disease.

Most people don't take the time to consider what they'll do if their parents need them as a caregiver. In many cases, they go from leading their life as normal to being in a caregiver role in as little as 24 hours. In that time, they have to make enormous adjustments. By giving a little thought to the "what ifs…" life might send your way, you can save yourself and your loved ones a good deal of stress.

Stay well,
Danny Wallace